Stupid Sea Donkeys!

Jeez! Talk about Whoring Sea Donkeys! It has been reported that Paris Hilton is going to jail today for 45 days for driving on a suspended license. Her license was suspended for an earlier DUI conviction. She blamed her publicist and then fired him for not telling her that she wasn't supposed to drive. I think it's more like Stupid Sea Donkeys now! She's just pissed that her lawyer couldn't get her out of trouble. I mean, if this happened to me I know where I'd be headed. And it wouldn't be out to the hottest niteclub in Hollywood, that's for sure. I can see why she thinks she's being targeted unfairly, but when the judge can see in every tabloid and magazine and blog a fresh new picture of her out partying somewhere it can't look good from his or hers perspective. That to me would say that she's still out drinkin and willing to drive on a suspended license and needs to stop it.

Next week I have to take my ten year old son to the doctor because his teacher thinks he has ADHD. Fun, huh? I don't think he has that. I think he suffers from anxiety and depression. My way of treating this is to be tough on him. Like this morning he was crying because the pair of pants he wanted to wear today were clean. "Get upstairs now and put something else on and quit CRYING!", I yelled. I did this because this is what I have to do to myself when I feel low. You know, like be my own drill sergeant. Today is a good example. I made the decision that I am not taking a nap today and I am not drinking anything either. I can do that tommorrow if I'd like because I have to go to work early so a nap is ok then, but there's no reason for it today. I don't need a drink, even if it's just a couple or even one cocktail later. Why? What for anyway? Drinking, even if it's not to excess, everyday is a bad habit. I know this and today I'm not doing it. I have always had an anti-medication stance when it comes to myself and I have found other methods of pulling myself up by my own bootstraps. One of those is not crying over stupid shit! Also realizing how grateful I should be for what I do have and not what I don't have and realizing that I have the power to change my own circumstances if I'm that unhappy.

But as a kid, I was powerless. There wasn't a godamn thing I could do about the unhappy shit involving my parents. But they didn't coddle me either. At least I have them to thank for my stoicism. So, here's my plan for my son: Yeah, if they want him to take meds, that's fine whether it's for ADHD or depression. I'm going to also spend more time talking with him one on one and tell him about how I understand exactly what he's feeling, but that I won't tolerate throwing a fit over dumb crap either. I will also need to put my listening hat on and keep my mind open and really try to come up with some solutions to the problems he's having.

Best Movie I Saw: The Departed. Oh man was this a GREAT MOVIE! You know I had heard somebody say that it wasn't Martin Scorcese's best film (That's Goodfellas, in my opinion) but it did deserve the Best Film Academy Award, and I have to say I agree!
I had me on the edge of my seat (more like on the edge of my bed) the whole time and it was perfectly cast and acted as well as written. When Hollywood needs to cast the devil incarnate Jack Nicholson must be at the top of that list. Matt Damon, perfect as the crooked but straight as an arrow acting and looking cop. But Leonardo Di Caprio! I know that lots of ladies swooned over him in Titanic but in this role he made my heart go pitty pat! Everyone just STELLAR in every sense of the word!

Best Song I Heard: Ruby Ruby by the Kaiser Chiefs. This is the second time this band has made it onto this section of my journal. It's one of those poppy catchy tunes that you don't necesarrily hear on the Top 40 radio but seem to hear everywhere else because it's got indie street cred, ya know?

Book I'm Reading: Paddy Whacked: The Untold Story of the Irish American Gangster by T.J. English. This is a good book. But it's long and I've been at it for a couple weeks now. But after I put this down yesterday and decided I wanted to watch a movie, I picked The Departed because it deals with the same subject matter I'm reading about now, so thanks T.J.!

Top News Story: Tornados in Kansas. A whole town destroyed. Scary. It could happen here just as easily. But what I liked was the family they interviewed on Good Morning America today. They made it a point to say how grateful they were that nobody in their family was hurt, and that it was just their things that were destroyed and that it can all replaced eventually. Also a couple weeks ago there was a mass murder at Virginia Tech, some dirtbag went in and shot thirty people on campus then killed himself. Why can't you just kill your fuckin self, dude and leave everybody else alone? It's because they want to be famous in death or something, I dunno. Which is even stupider!

Sigh. I need some help in the next few weeks. Some words of wisdom from somebody who has gone thru this stuff with their kid. And it's not my mother by the way. Even if she had something worthwhile to contribute to the conversation I wouldn't listen to her because I don't think she handled my adolescent angst very well. I mean look at me! I'm admitting that I've been drinking everyday for the last few weeks and I actually have to make a conscious decision that I'm not going to drink anything TODAY. So that means that I still don't have a good handle on any angst that I may be feeling. Yet I have to somehow teach my kid to cope with his. I wasn't given the right tools as a kid and now I gotta somehow get it right with him.

I will though. I'm committed to it. I am. Whatever it takes...