I had to leave work and go to the ER AGAIN!!!!!!!

Do you sense a common theme there? Once more, in less than a week I had to go up to the supervisor (I work in a large discount store so I have many bosses) explain to her the situation (this time, a nurse at my son's school had let him fall out of his wheelchair and he had a big shiner under his right eye. I told her I thought he was all right and not to worry about it, but nooooooooo, we had to go to the ER. Now I know, it's a good thing they really care and they want to make sure he is okay, and I don't disagree with the decision to seek treatment, but I just wanted to say Geez! Gimme a Break! too) Of course he is fine, but cynical me, I thought "Wow, that was at least a 3000 dollar day. 1000 for the ER, 1000 for the CT scan, and 1000 for the ambulance ride." Luckily I have always been poor enough to qualify for Medicaid so I never see the bill.3000 dollars is about a third of my yearly salary. Living on minimum wage I couldn't even begin to afford the kind of care this kid needs. I know that other parents with special needs children have weeks like this, but I feel alone too. Not sorry for myself, but isolated.

A Friend Tells Me She Is Depressed

I am worried about one of my close friends. I only have two. They both live out of town and I don't see them as much as I would like so we mainly communicate by e-mail or cell phone after 9PM or on weekends. But this particular one is my age (35) and about five months pregnant. She tells me she is depressed now. And why does this worry me? I was HORRIBLY depressed with my first pregnancy. I don't mean I felt a little blue and didn't want to get out of bed. I mean I got up each morning and then sat in the living room and cried all day. I had a good reason to be upset. My husband was a complete ogre. He was going out on three day crack binges, not holding down a job and being verbally and physically abusive. I was only 22 and 1000 miles away from home. I was completely and totally miserable.

And my baby was born at 27 weeks. He survived, but he is severely disabled today. All the books say that you are not supposed to blame yourself or your spouse if you end up having a baby born prematurely. But I do. Just like I bet every parent in this situation does. I blame my EX-husband for being a complete shit. I blame myself for letting myself get to such a desolate place emotionally and not talking to anybody and not getting help, and not getting out of that sorry situation right then and there. Maybe this makes no sense to anybody else, but it makes perfect sense to me.

I hope my friend opens up to me and talks to me about what's going on. Not that I could do much, but you never know...