Much Much Better!

Well this week was a whole hell of a lot better than last week! Sheesh! I feel like I can breathe again. Work was pretty good, and when I say pretty good, I mean I didn't have one of the legions of supervisors I have do or say something that made me feel like a misbehaving toddler. You know, when I think about it, working in a large discount store like that is pretty damn easy. I have had harder jobs, like the cell phone company, or even waiting tables and had much more stress and bosses from hell, so why do I, a semi-educated, and possessing average intelligence person have trouble not excelling and outshining some of my other co-workers? Is it because what the low self esteemed part of me has always feared that I am a true moron and never worthy of any success, is actually true? Do I have Attetion Deficit Disorder? Or is it just that this job is not the right one for me? Or maybe it's because the job is not as easy as it looks and even the ones who seem to be the golden children who can do no wrong have occasional days like I do. I wish I knew. But I will say that that I did NOT apply for that promotion, even though I know I should have. I just couldn't stand the thought of the bosses up there in the office laughing at my application and wondering just who the hell I thought I was to even think that I was worthy of a chance at more responsibility and a dollar more an hour. Oh Jesus, I'm pathetic sometimes!

On a lighter note, I thought I would start a new section in this journal about what I am currently reading, listening to and the hot issue of the week.

Book I Am Reading This Week: The Windsor Knot (The author, I can't remember, the book is upstairs, but it's about Prince Charles and Camilla. Why am I reading this again? Because they are getting married this weekend.)

Album I Listened To Most Recently: Jamie Cullum Twentysomething (For about the Twentieth time! I love this album so much, and it is one of my favorite make out records!)

Best Movie I Saw This Week: Robots (We took the kids to the movie theater and blew about forty bucks on this movie plus popcorn and pop and video games afterward and it was all worth it. We had the best time and the movie was great. I loved the theme. Stand up and fight for what you beleive in. The notion that you have to "upgrade" yourself with a new physical appearance and that eccentric and old fashioned are outdated and must be eliminated are wrong concepts. Hooray for a message like that!)

Hot Issue Of The Week: Michael Jackson Trial (I wish I didn't have to hear about this anymore. It just makes me sick. I think it's a good thing that all of this sordid stuff is finally coming out. We've been wondering about this for more than ten years now, and what a shocker, he really is a pedophile!)

That's it for now!

Railroading

I've noticed something lately on a couple of talk shows that disturbs me. Take for instance this morning's episode of Larry Elder. There was a guy and his family on there, the guy a crack addict and the family classic enablers. Normally I wouldn't sympathize with the addict EVER, but I almost felt sorry for this man. Almost. He was pleasant and cooperative, not a touch of defensiveness or sarcasm, and had an appropriate level of remorse. His sisters told stories of how they slept with their money and car keys on themselves every night (boy, do I remember those days!) and how drug dealers would bang on their doors in the middle of the night when they were sound alseep (I remember that too, except I was never sound asleep, more like wide awake and PISSED!). But why did Larry have to keep hammering at this guy, machine gun attack style, saying things like "Look what you're doing to your family! Do you enjoy making your sister cry? How could you steal from your own mother?" And the guy kept saying "Yeah I know, and that's why I'm here, because I know I need help." Maybe he's a total dirtbag and his claim was completely insincere. After all, this has been going on for thirteen years. He did make the statement that when he was out getting high he didn't think about anybody but himself and that when he got home and sobered up, he felt so awful about what he had done that he needed to get drunk or high to ease that pain. Doesn't Larry realize that shouting out accusations like that to a hard core addict is pointless? They've been screaming this shit at him for thirteen years, and does Larry think he can change him in twenty minutes? Stupid stupid stupid television! Dr. Phil would have handled it better, but I've seen him railroad some of his guests unfairly too.

There's a right and a wrong way to deal with sensitive issues. People in positions of authority need to realize this so they can get more desirable results and better solutions to the problems without mowing a person down emotionally.