Dirtbag(s) Of The Month

The Duke Lacrosse Team.

Yeah, I know it's not a new story but this case is far from over. I just read a very good article in Vanity Fair about this. Who knows for sure what REALLY HAPPENED that nite, but I think something very bad did occur. I think these rich white preppy assholes wanted to hire a couple of strippers and behave badly with them because they thought they could get away with it. Maybe they didn't actually rape that girl, but they were still drunken dickheads. However this article sure does make it seem like they DID rape her.We can only hope that the truth is spoken someday, and that some brave young man who was there will come forward. I don't know, I wasn't there, but you know what? I am not too old to remember what frat parties were like and the rich white preppy assholes in attendance.

And for that, these guys are my Dirtbags For The Month Of July!

Eddie RIP

This little dog was one of two reasons why I wanted to get a Jack Russell Terrier for myself. The other one was "Milo" from The Mask. His name was "Eddie" (his real name was Moose) and he was on Fraser. E!Online sadly reports today that he passed away at the age of 16.

He's now chasing squirrels, rooting thru trash cans and terrorizing cats in Heaven now...

I. Want. To. Shake. Her.

Nicole Kidman has married a crackhead. Notice I didn't say "former", because it's my opinion that once a crackhead, always a crackhead. They might stop for awhile, but they don't stop forever.
I
Want
To
Shake
Her!

I saw something on a website about the terms of their prenup. All the money she was supposed to give him should they get divorced, won't be going to him if he drinks or uses drugs. Nicole, honey... He won't care about that the second he puts that nasty old crack pipe to his lips. He's got plenty of dough, and that's what he'll tell himself when he's driving out to the projects. Or, he'll tell himself that she'll never find out and that all he has to do is lie repeatedly to her.

P.S. I don't care if he looks like Keith Urban, hell I don't care if he IS Keith Urban, I wouldn't even let a crackhead inside my front door, let alone MARRY THE SONOFABITCH!

But Maybe... I WOULDN'T HAVE!

I read an interesting thing in Salon.com the other day. A guy by the name of Cary Tennis has a daily advice column and while he generally picks well-written, thoughtful, and peculiar letters to respond to, I have absolutely no interest in his response. All I care about is the writer's dillemna itself and what I would tell them to do. So, I'll paste an excerpt here of the letter that got me thinking this week:

My brother is a happy-go-lucky guy, always the life of the party. He's been married and divorced three times, and before his third marriage he neglected to disclose both previous marriages to his wife. He did admit to having been married before. Now that we've met his likely fourth wife, we're very happy for him and we want the best for both him and his fiancée. The problem is that he's told our family not to reveal all three prior marriages to his prospective wife. Instead, he wants to pretend there was only one prior marriage. To complicate matters, No. 4 is now expecting his baby.

OH NO!!!!! So the writer wants Cary to tell him if he should be the bearer of bad news or not. When I read this, my immediate reaction was "YES you moron! Tell her!" (Which by the way, Cary advises this as well, thank God.) I'll tell you why. I didn't find out that my (now) ex-husband was bi-polar or a drug-addict (although I should have seen that a mile away, but I was young, 22, and very naive) and had served time in prison for robbery and assault until after I married the bastard!!!!!! Oh yes, it was a few months afterward that his brother casually mentioned this to me one day at The Olive Garden. And should I mention that at the time, I was "expecting his baby" as well?

I need to also say that even if I had known all of this sordid truth, I probably still would have married him anyway. He would have made all those things seem so insignificant and trivial, even tho complete and total criminality is something that goes against everything I stand for. It just felt like a punch in the face to be told this stuff after I had already gone and did it. It would have been nice to know before hand. Maybe I wouldn't have married him. I'm still pretty sure I would have anyway, but maybe... I WOULDN'T HAVE!

You see, even tho I think this part of my life is gone forever, my thirties have turned out to be the blessed and finally "Happy Years", I read things like this and it just brings the misery all back. What I went thru then was so soul-crushingly damaging that I'm not ever going to completely recover. It is now at this point of the essay that I need to stop and hug my boyfriend right now, and tell him how grateful I am for his real-manliness, his un-dying devotion and his willingness to help carry a soul-crushingly heavy load.

Best Movie I Saw This Week: American History X. I watch lots of movies every week. I prefer to watch movies over sitcoms or even reality shows (however, I see that a new season of Project Runway will be starting in a couple of weeks! Yee Haw!) hell, I have 15 movie channels already plus On-Demand, so I've got it made, but every once in awhile a film really gets to you, it really sucks you in completely, and this movie was one of those. I'd never seen this before, and it's already eight years old. I need to preface this first by saying that Man! Edward Norton looked HOT as a totally buff and pumped up skinhead. You take away the swastika tattoos and he'd be purrrrrfect. You couple that with a man on a mission to transform himself into a good person and save his brother from being comletely immersed in the skin-head life, and you've got a recipie for Dreamboat. But what I liked the best about this movie was that the issue of racism wasn't presented to us as a cut and dried predictable morality tale, black people good and persecuted, white people who hate them evil. Issues such as Affirmative Action and rioting were brought up with sentiments such as "rioting is just an excuse to destroy property and loot" and Affirmative Action is wrong because the job is awarded not on merit but on race. White people who are not evil or racist think this way whether it's right or not. The ending was this movie's most compelling message. That even tho Edward Norton was working so hard to undo the damage he had already caused by being a leader in the Aryan Nation, his little brother was sacrificed anyway on the altar of his past transgressions.

Book I'm Reading: 24 Days. It's a book about Enron. It's another Dollar Tree Special. You know, I haven't bought a book from the bookstore or from my store in weeks because the Dollar Tree has a great selection and they are ONLY A DOLLAR! Now, I don't know a whole lot about finance and Wall Street, but this book is very informative. It is actually comprehendable. It is written by two Wall Street Journal reporters who broke that scandal in the first place. I once heard in school that newspapers have to be written at a sixth-grade reading level, and thank God they did because otherwise I wouldn't have a clue what they were talking about.

Best Song I Heard: I totally got into Seven Nation Army yesterday when I was cooking dinner. I cooked Aldi's Flat Iron Steaks, be-bopping along and sipping Wild Vines. (they're really good, they come frozen in a bag and you cook them that way, you're supposed to grill them but we don't have any gas right now so I cooked them in a skillet instead and they are just as tasty). The White Stripes seem to make into this portion of the journal entry a lot. What can I say? They are just that good.

Current Sewing Project: I have started a pair of shorts for my daughter. I am debating whether I should put a Disney character on the back.

Top News Story: They found a group in the most impoversihed section of Miami that wanted to blow up the Sears Tower, in allegiance to Al Queda. All they had done so far was take a few pictures of the building in downtown Chicago and buy some army boots. That's how far they got. I know this is serious and I'm glad they got caught, but Oh JEEZ! People can be so fucking stupid sometimes!

Today looks like another fabulous summer day, and right now I'm cooking lunch and then will be kickin it poolside. Then I will retire inside for my lovely afternoon nap, and then I hope we get to go downtown for a Carnival tonite! You are never ever too old to like those!

I Give You THE FINGER

Well, here it is, the sawed off digit I spoke about in a couple of posts back...

See, I told ya, it was nasty!

Super Scary Skeletal Skinny

I once read in a Garrison Keillor novel a description of a model as having "breasts like Christmas cookies". Indeed this woman does. And this is why I'm glad I'm not super scary skeletal skinny, because I can at least sport a couple of B's!

"Accident" Prone Men

Ok, should I talk about my ex-husband's latest folly first, or should I tell you about how my boyfriend was able to come home and deposit a small chunk of his right index finger into my hand?

The ex first, then. Last week I got a letter from a Check Tracing collection agency with an itemized list of over 2000 dollars worth of bad checks he had written last year right before Christmas. It had his name on it, but it was sent to my address. This man has never lived here and we have been divorced for over four years now. We were PISSED. When my boyfriend confronted him about this, my ex husband insinuated that I must have wrote those checks. WTF???????? Why would I DO THAT? My ex husband is a bi-polar crack addict. I KNOW why he did it. God. He's a dirtbag. If I can't find another good candidate for July, then it might just have to be him. In fact, the whole concept of "Dirtbag Of The Month" is dedicated to him. He's the Dirtbag Of Our Lives.

Yesterday, I got another call (again) from my boyfriend telling me to meet him in the Emergency Room. He was trying to get a car off of a trailer and it slipped and sliced the tip of his finger off. When I got there, they were sewing it up. That shit looked NASTY! But the really gross (and funny) part was he went back later and found the chunk of finger and brought it home. He walked in the door and said "Here, I got something for ya..." Me, the unsuspecting idiot held out her hand.

Well, it's a fabulous day today, the temp is 80 degrees, I already have my bottle of Sutter Home Sauvignon Blanc cracked open, I have half of an 88 cent Totino's pizza waiting for me on the stove for lunch, the Ipod is charged and ready for an afternoon of tunes while kickin' it poolside and I'm OUTTA HERE!

Strong Women Characters

I found this on somebody else's blog the other day and I think it's pretty interesting. So, I cut and paste it into my own and wrote my own responses.


I AM: A child that does not know her real father.
I WANT: A Democrat in the White House in 2008.

I WISH: I had a fabulous job that paid decent money and I excelled at it.

I HATE: All dirtbags, especially my ex-husband right now.

I MISS: Working with my best friend every day.

I FEAR: That like the U2 song, that I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For.
I HEAR: Whatever song I want to now, because I have a high speed internet connection and an Ipod.

I WONDER: What I'll look like when I get old.

I REGRET: Not graduating from college.

I AM NOT: As nice as some people think I am.

I DANCE: On my day off after I've had a glass of cheap wine.

I SING: Every day because I'm really good at it.

I CRY: When I have PMS and listen to Country music radio.

I AM NOT ALWAYS: Late for work, sometimes I'm even a few minutes early.

I MAKE WITH MY HANDS:Clothes and fantastic meals for my family.

I WRITE: Because it helps.

I CONFUSE: Stacy and my kids.

I NEED: Even MORE self-confidence.

I SHOULD: Stop wigging out about my 7 dollar an hour job.

I START: Reading on the last page (The Proust Questionaire) of Vanity Fair magazine first, before I read any other article.

I FINISH: A new book usually once a week.

Best Movie I saw This Week: Mrs. Henderson Presents. What a lovely little film! I love true stories and I love strong women characters. The movie was about a recently widowed woman who buys a small little theater on a whim and decides to do something "different". It wasn't vaudeville and it wasn't burlesque. It was a neat combination of both. It was singing and dancing and costumes but the naked girls were standing still in a kind of artistic tableau. And it was stunningly beautiful. It was a show that CELEBRATED that women are stunningly beautiful. I also watched a movie called Kung Fu Hustle. This was great too. I usually don't like Kung Fu movies or anything else that's just straight violence, but this was so interesting and sylistic (and it also had a great strong woman character as well) and humourous too. Think if Bruce Lee movies had CGI effects, then it would be like Kung Fu Hustle.

Book I Read: American Evita by Christopher Andersen. This is a book about Hillary Clinton. I was disappointed on so many levels. First of all, I read his book about JFK junior and I thought it was a lovely tribute and a touching narrative about the last few years of his life before his untimely death in a plane crash. So I thought that maybe this book was going to be in the same vein. This book painted Ms. Clinton in the most unflattering of light, and maybe because I'm a dyed in the wool Democrat I don't want to face the "truth", I don't know, but I always thought of the Clinton's as my political heroes so this was a bitter pill to swallow. Out of all the sinister allegations made, the one that disturbed me the most was Hillary's reaction to all the women who came forward to reveal their dalliances with her husband. She regarded all of them as tramps and made great pains to portray them as such. Not all of them were, Hillary! That pissed me off the most. I can say this, but I don't know what it's like to be in her shoes and have my husband do this to me time and time again. BUT GUESS WHAT EVERYBODY! IF HILLARY RUNS FOR PRESIDENT IN 2008 I'M STILL VOTING FOR HER! Even after reading all this damning material about her, I'm still convinced that if she is my Democratic choice, then she is the best person for the job. I would love to see a smart, strong woman (character!) as President in my lifetime!

Best Song or Album I heard This Week: God Only Knows by the Beach Boys. This is one of those rare songs that you hear that precisely fits how you feel. I may not always love you, but as long as there are stars above you, you'll never need to doubt it, I'll make you so sure about it... What a peculiar lyric and not your typical love song. It's also the theme song for one of the best new shows on TV, Big Love. This show is about a polygamist family in Utah and it's great!

Current Sewing Project: I haven't worked on my sewing at all since the last time I wrote. Shame on me!

Top News Story: Just a few hours ago President Bush was on TV giving a press conference about the issue of Gay Marriage. Here's my take: If they want to, let em! Seriously, why the fuck not? I don't see what difference it makes because if homosexuality is such a sin, then even if they're married they are still sinning. So why get your panties in a bunch, "Christians"? People are gonna be Gay and Proud whether you like it or not so why not just let em? The president was going on about the "Sanctity Of Marriage". Oh brother! Give me a break! Marriage isn't sacred anymore! There's a 50 percent divorce rate in this country. The best line I've heard about this subject was uttered by Kurt Cobain when he screeched "MARRIED...BURIED" in his song "All Apologies"! Yes, it is true, I may just get married someday again, but I just may NOT. I like having my options open and it seems to work right now.

Last nite was my boyfriend's birthday. I was dead fucking tired last nite at bedtime from having to get up at 4 AM to get ready for work and not getting a nap in the afternoon. But I thought it would be a shitty birthday for him if he didn't get laid, plus, even tho my bod was weary, my mind was full of dirty shagalicious thoughts so I just had to do him righteously. I slept like a little baby! Because you know, all strong woman characters still need their beauty rest...

A Video Game That Even I Can Play

Today was the day I had to make good on a promise I made to my youngest son several months ago. If he pulled his grades up to at least C's (no D's allowed) then I would buy him a very special present. Well, he did it! So I brought home a new PlayStation game and this game is really really COOL!

Here it is: It's called Guitar Hero! And I'm so glad I got this because even I like playing it!