once you dig in

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Weekly Onion Horoscope

As usual, Capricorn is lame...

Capricorn December 22 - January 19

It will become obvious over the next several weeks that in a medical emergency, such as shattering your femur while clearing out the attic, every month counts.

But here's the best one:

Aries March 21 - April 19

You've long seen yourself as a cog in a larger machine, but that will change next week when a cheaper cog from Mexico is shipped in to reduce the cost of packing frozen breakfast sausages.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Here's My Favorite Author Of All Time


The Kid Stays In The Picture by Robert Evans might be my all time favorite book, but Garrison Keillor is my favorite author. On Saturday night, as me made our way to the big out of town hospital that my son had been helicoptered to the day before, (pneumonia, for only the thousandth time!) my boyfriend and I listened to A Prarie Home Companion on the radio. It was nice. It hasn't changed a bit since it started over twenty years ago. But his books are what I really get into. My favorite? WLT A Radio Romance. It's his dirtiest work and it's his best.

P.S. My son is better. He was ambulanced back to the Home and while he continues to need oxygen, he's improving.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Weekly Onion Horoscope


Capricorn December 22 - January 19

You will be honored this week in a gala ceremony, during which the award's presenter describes you as the "Lenny Bruce of breakfast cereal manufacturers," claiming that without the "courageous path you helped pave," there could never have been a Cookie Crisp.

All right... This is just weird. It's not lame and it's interesting (considering I was just reading a book about Lenny Bruce about an hour ago, I was coloring my hair "light intense copper red" and had to sit still somewhere for thirty minutes and pulled this book off the shelf to peruse) but it's just plain strange!

I Have Decided On Yet Another New Feature For My Blog


LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MAY I INTRODUCE TO YOU...

THE DIRTBAG OF THE MONTH!!!!!!!!

His name is Matt Dubay and he claims his girlfriend (ex now of course) had a baby he didn't want and so he is petitioning the Michigan Supreme Court to get the child support laws changed so he can forever shirk his responsibilities.

I am absolutely furious. There are not enough dirty words to describe this asshole.
WHAT
A
FUCKING
DICK!

Monday, March 06, 2006

Things Just Got Easier For Pimps

Yep, that's what John Stewart said right after "It's Hard Out There For A Pimp" won an Oscar for Best Song. Terrence Howard may have lost to Phillip Seymour Hoffman, but that fabulous song won!

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Hmmm..... I... Would.... Have... To.... Say...Mayyyyyyyy...Beeeeeeee....

PROJECT RUNWAY is my most favorite show EVER. This show made me want to get a sewing machine and make things again. The best thing I've made so far? A pair of pajama pants made out of black fleece with yellow and green flames. My boyfriend and I both wear it. My daughter even wore it one nite to bed when she was too cold. They're just so wild looking. It's material that shouldn't be used for pants. Here's my take on Santino: I don't think he's really the jerk the show wants to make him out to be. Sure, he can be an asshole, but I think that the editors of the show have been instucted to demonize him. He says what's on his mind, he's honest, and he's very subversive. The show has to have an antagonist and he, like Wendy Pepper from season one were chosen for that role. I really like the work of Daniel V. On the last episode, Tim Gunn didn't seem too enthusiastic about his collection for New York Fashion Week. I can't wait for the finale next week. I am rooting for Daniel all the way!

I haven't written about work in awhile because it's been going pretty well. Until last week that is. I was asked if I would like to take on a new position in the store. I readily agreed but then when I actually began my set of new responsibilities it became quickly very overwhelming. I have no idea what the bosses were expecting me to accomplish the first couple of days, if I failed miserably or if I did just fine. I can't tell. All I know is that I didn't meet the goals I set for myself.

Best Movie I Saw This Week: I saw quite a few. But the one that really sticks in my mind as the most compelling was Hustle And Flow. I just thought that movie was great. Terrence Howard gave and absolutely stellar performance. In almost every good or even mediocre film you forget it's a movie at some point and get sucked into the story. But sometimes you REALLY forget it's just a movie when the actors just completly embody their roles and I could totally see and feel Mr. Howard as "You Know It's Hard Out There For A Pimp" D-Jay. My only complaint and it's a minor one, is that Taryn Manning is too pretty to be convincing enough as a twenty dollar Ho. I wanted so desperately for those characters to rise above their squalid circumstances that I rooted and cheered for them as they went thru the process of making those songs and wished and hoped right along with them until the semi-tragic ending where D-Jay is involved in a shooting and ends up in jail. I was totally devastated (and it just goes to show you how we as a movie audience whole expect nothing less than a happy feel good ending) and wasn't satisfied at all with that. I just started yelling "Oh Why, Why WHY!!!? Like I said, I was totally sucked in by this. Terrence Howard is nominated for an Academy Award and I want him to win. It will go to a gay cowboy or Johnny Cash, but you never know, he just might "Whoop That Trick" after all.

Best Book I Read This Week: There are a couple. I just finished The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls. Fabulous. It's the story of a woman who grows up heart-breakingly impoverished in a falling-down shack with no electricity and no working toilet or bath. Her mother has a teaching degree but only works sporadically and her father is a raging alcoholic. A fiercly intelligent one, but still an abhorrently bad boozer. She rises above it all, of course and moves to New York City and becomes a journalist. Good For Her. I also read Tommyland by Tommy Lee. Ever since the whole situation in the late 90's when he was incarcerated for spousal abuse and violation of probation I was NOT a fan. Also all the tattoos, plus the admitted tales of debauchery as a member of Motley Crue, it was only rock and roll, but it was too much and I DIDN'T like it. This book has changed my view slightly and made me feel more sympathetic for what happened. I even thought there was one picture in there where he even looked kinda hot. He seems genuinely honest thru-out the book and he has a teriffic sense of humor. Now if I was a single gal floating around in that rock/showbiz world out there in Hollywood and had a chance to do him, would I? Hmmm..... I... Would.... Have... To.... Say...Mayyyyyyyy...Beeeeeeee.... But because this is so NOT my world, I (sigh) don't have to make the choice of being a smart, good little girl or taking a walk on the "WILD SIDE". Right now I am reading another great book called Room 302. It's a year in the life of a Cook County courtroom. The focus is on the one judge who presides there, but every case big or small gets a mention and there are thousands that pass thru each year. Fascinating.

Best Album I Listened To This Week: With Teeth by Nine Inch Nails. Of course the reason I heard this is because I saw that great concert a few weeks back. The best track is Bite The Hand That Feeds. Those arrangements that Mr. Reznor comes up with are so complex it makes me dizzy. But in a good way. Just think what Brian Wilson would have come up with had he had access to Pro-Tools.

Current Sewing Project: I resumed working on a navy blue crepe satin tunic. It's given me such fits! I want to move past these obstacles and finish it so bad but I can't even seem to get the damn collar right. I may just buy some cheap muslin and start it all over again. I'll get it, but I just need to be patient. It's a learning experience.

Top News Story: I guess that President Bush now wants control of our major U.S. ports to handed over to the country of Dubai. Our nation is crying out that this could lead to serious problems with national security. Let's see... an arab country in charge of our ports... hmmm... nah, sounds Okay by me! Oh jeeze it's just one more ridiculous fuck-up after another with these Republicans! Here's another one: There's a video tape on the news these days showing a hurricane specialist warning Bush that with the big storm heading our way, the levees in New Orleans are in serious danger of breaking. Then two days later, he's on Good Morning America telling Diane that he had no idea that the levees would break like that. We have two more years of that shit to go. No wonder the press is already speculating on who's gonna run for president in 2008. We just can't wait!

The other nite on Bill Maher D.L Hughley was a guest and the topic was how come Paris Hilton was such a big star. He said "Why don't we see any of those Ramada bitches anywhere?" I loved it!