A Nine Letter Word For Lazy

It's a Tuesday morning, and the weather's fine. It's sunny and 80 degrees and I plan on jumping in the pool in about an hour, with a chilled glass of Gallo White Merlot! It's one of my favorite cheap wines (3.49) along with Andre or St. James. I know I'm white trashy when it comes to this but it's all I can afford.

Speaking of trashy and fun, we had a party here last Friday for my boyfriend's birthday. Oh Jeez! Was it fun! EVERYBODY got wasted in the hot tub and we finally ended the part-tay at about 3. Hey, sometimes you gotta do this. You just do. My next big blowout will be in four weeks when I have my 20th(!) year class reunion.

Last week my boyfriend did some work for an old lady across the street and the other guy that was with him was the Dad of one of my old boyfriends. You know, I've always said that I identified the most with the character of Carrie on Sex and The City. Sensible. The voice of reason with the other three. That would be me in that situation. (Sheesh! Should I toot my own horn some more today?) She also had Big. My boyfriend has been working with my version of Big's Dad. I've wrote about him before.

In a post entitled Having To Go To Work Today At 4AM Sucks! Happy New Year! on 12/20/06 "And can I just say that Hugh Grant is now my most favorite guilty pleasure actor? In my mind he will always and forever be Daniel Cleaver. The guy you KNOW you shouldn't sleep with, but you do anyway, and regret it later, or maybe not regret it at all! There is a Daniel Cleaver is my past, (and I know that most girls have at least ONE skeleton like that) and strangely, I don't regret it. AT ALL. If he called me up today, I'd be happy to chat. Oh I wouldn't fuck him again, don't worry, I've got a great man that I love, but I should hate this "Daniel" for what he did (slept with my best friend at the time and a host of other bad boy antics) and I don't for some reason."

My man knows I used to go out with him, but I don't think he really knows quite the extent of what kind of an impact my Big had on my past. And that's all right. But I did get the low down on what's been happening with him for the last seven years since it's been that long since I've talked to him. Big has two baby mamas and his Dad wishes he'd marry the second one and finally settle down. My comment was "I know he's a great Dad. That much I know. A great husband? Nah! Don't think so!" But what I REALLY wanted to know was if he was coming to the REUNION! But of course, naturally my boyfriend didn't ask that question. I'm gonna leave that one alone, tho. He probably won't be there, and that's all right too.

Best Movie I Saw: Fearless Freaks. It's a documentary about the band The Flaming Lips. I'd heard of them but never really heard their music before. Here's my take on it: it kinda sucks. Kinda. It's not horrible. But it's not great either. They are more about putting on a really weird show. But Pink Floyd does that too and THAT music is some of the BEST ever made! That's just my take. I guess not everybody is as talented as Roger Watters or David Gilmour! Ooh! And I also saw The Queen. You know what I think the theme of that movie was? All of us at some point get stubborn and set in our ways and there's no way we're givin in when we're faced with opposition right? Well, that's what Queen Elizabeth faced when Princess Diana died. She basically didn't want to make much of a fuss about it. She didn't even want to leave her vacation! But Tony Blair talked her into it and in the end she relented. She came back home, she addressed the nation, she gave Diana a royal funeral, and it turned out to be exactly the right thing to do. Even tho she didn't want to. It's a great lesson we can all apply to ourselves.

Best Song I Heard: Do Me Good by Amy Winehouse. This is a song about sleeping with an ex, and really the pick wasn't intentional because I was THINKING AND TALKING about my Big this week. No, I just heard it a few days ago while I was listening to my Ipod and doing the dishes. This lyric perked up my ears:

Its Like He Was Designed With Me In Mind
Hes So Good From Behind
Hes Beautifully Defined
I Miss Him Most Of All When It Got Late
Attempt To Hear Him Breathing
Or Feel His Shifting Weight

Yep. The first three lines... that's how I feel about my man!

Best Book: Ok, this is weird because I'm not really reading a book right now! I know... GASP! This week I've spent my afternoons in the pool, and I've been forced to go to bed early because I now am forced to go to work every day now at 6 AM. Plus I've been too broke to buy a new one anyway. But the really interesting thing about this is what I've been doing on my breaks at work. Instead of reading whatever book I've delved into, I've been doing sudoku and crossword puzzles! This is actually new to me. I've found that The National Enquirer has a weekly crossword that I can actually complete. Maybe that's one for the purely amateurs, but I don't care.

Top News Story: Here's a shocker too: I haven't really watched the news this week either! Why? Because the kids have been sleeping in the living room at nite because it's cooler there. So, I won't turn CNN on. Between 5 and 6 I've been in the pool or taking a nap, and I'm pretty much in bed a little after 10 now. I'll stay up late enough to see the weather and then turn it off. Yep. That's my new schedule now. I have to change this tho! No books? Shame on me! No National News? Tsk Tsk!

But Hey! I'll bet I do know a 9 letter word for "lazy" now! Here's the clue:
s_ _ _ _ _ ent

Somnolent!

Dirtbag Of The Month

Well, I had to do some digging this time to find a candidate that I thought was a good one. First I looked at The Chicago Tribune website and found a couple contenders but they all made me go "nahh...". There was a bit about a 58 year old male teacher who was bangin a 17 year old student. Yeah that's a dirtbag, but that happens all the time. Then there was a story about a contractor bribing an alderman for a project bid. Not salacious enough. Happens every day...especially in Chicago! There was also a thing about three cops who beat the shit outta some guys in a bar. This was caught on video and made it to the national news. But why should these guys be named Dirtbags, when we don't know the whole story. Maybe the guys started some stupid shit with the off-duty cops and well, you know... alcohol and testosterone mixed together and next thing ya know you're on Good Morning America!

The story I picked came from The Nashville Tennesean. It seems that a woman was kidnapped in the parking lot of a Walgreens.

"It was supposed to be a meeting to celebrate a woman's 23rd birthday. Instead, Ambrose Branch, 42, is being sought in connection with the beating and kidnapping of the mother of his 5-month-old child," is how this story begins.

"The police report states that Branch was seen "entering the woman's car through the passenger side door where he punched her repeatedly in the face and choked her before he forcibly removed her from the driver's seat and drove away with the victim still inside the car."

Ok, so this guy forces his way into her car and takes off with her in it. Keep in mind she is his baby-mama. He did let her go after six hours tho. And she immediately called police.

"The suspect has a lengthy arrest history with convictions for assault, unlawful weapons possession and felony cocaine possession, the police report continued."

Yep. A Real choirboy that one. But here's the kicker: "The car Branch drove to the drug store belonged to a woman who had hired him to detail it, according to the police report." So that means that he partially committed a crime with somebody else's car. I say partially because that's not the vehicle that he kidnapped her in, but he did drive a car that wasn't his to the Walgreens. I swear to God! Crackheads are all alike!

It's possible they haven't caught him yet, too. But anyway... Men like this are so fucked up. Seriously. It was his baby's MAMA. Who gives a shit if she did something to betray you! (I don't know that part of the story. The "why" part. She might not of done anything, really. It might have been because she said "Hello" to a guy at the store. Who knows!) She should be with YOUR BABY and not in a car with you, wondering if she's gonna live or die for six hours straight. Why doesn't this occur to them at the time?

And for this stupid ass stunt you pulled, Ambrose Branch, you are my June Dirtbag Of The Month!

P.S. Plus, he did this to her on HER FUCKING BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Until I Can Find A Dirtbag... Here's A Hottie!

I have been searching in vain for the perfect Dirtbag Of The Month and haven't come up with one yet. I don't always like to go for the obvious choices. But until I find one, here is the Hotness Of The Month. Just to prove to y'all that sometimes having Y chromosomes can be a good thing!