I Should Be Feelin The Love But I'm Not

A month has passed since our fabulous and at times tumultous trip to Chicago...

You know where I'd like to go next? Memphis! We should go to Graceland! I've never been there before and I think it'd be cool. It will be sans the children of course.

HOWEVER, if we have any incidents like we did two Fridays ago, I WON'T be going ANYWHERE with my boyfriend and he might not even be my boyfriend anymore. I've posted on here before about how insecure he is, but I had a small sliver of hope because I thought he was getting better about it. We had "two steps back" two weeks ago. We were at our favorite bar (in fact, it's the place where we met!) and having a great time, and yes, alcohol was flowing in abundance. But then all hell broke loose because I had the NERVE to hug and kiss another man on the cheek. He was an old friend from high school and he is GAY! Do you think that mattered to my man? Of course not!

I'm still pissed about it. Maybe I should be over it now, but I'm not and it really is affecting my relationship right now. I had so much hope, and he let me down. And even tho I SWORE I wasn't going out with him EVER again, we are attending a going away party for a guy at work on Friday nite. He has a small chance to redeem himself. But it's going to be a long time before I really trust that he has changed, and what saddens me even more is the realization that he might not ever, and I just CAN'T have that in my life and I will have no choice but to end our relationship.

Best Movie I Saw This Week: Bastards Of The Party. This was so compelling! It's a documentary about the beginning of the Bloods and Crips gangs in Los Angeles made by gang member. And if I heard right, he still is a gang member to this day, hence the omission of the word "former". This movie really delves into the history of how this started. I had absolutely no idea that these two gangs are derived from the Black Panthers and the Us Organization (which I hadn't even heard of). And who better to tell this story than a current gang member? I love HBO documentaries and can't wait to see the one they made about Abu Graib.

Book I'm Reading This Week: Manhunt. Still. This has been slow going, but I'm finishing it.

Best Song I Heard This Week: Treat Her Right by Roy Head. Yes, I'm a HUGE fan of American Idol, and I have high hopes for Sundance Head. When they broadcast Sundance's audition he mentioned that his Dad had a big hit in the 60's called Treat Her Right. So I promptly downloaded it and forgot all about it, but yesterday when I was sewing and listening to my Ipod this song came on and I love it!

I wanna tell you a story every man oughta know

If you want a little lovin' you gotta start real slow

She gonna love you tonight, if you just treat her right
Oh squeeze her real gentle, you gotta make her feel good

Tell her that you love her like you know you should

She gonna love you tonight if you just treat her right
If you practice my method just as hard as you can

You gonna get a reputation as a lovin' man

Yeah, you'll be glad every night that you're treatin' her right
Hey hey hey hey etc

I put the whole song on here because it's so simple. And so true! DUH!

Current Sewing Project: Vogue 2241. I have been in love with this dress for a couple years now, and I even thought that I might want to get married in it! But HAH! See the first part of this post. That might not happen so why am I attempting this? I like a challenge! I am making a muslin copy. If I can get thru this one first, then maybe I'll try it with a nice satin. But shit man, I don't know where I'd ever wear the damn thing!



Top News Story: Well around here there was a terrible ice storm and people were without power for a few days including us. Man! Winter has been brutal for us this year! Also Britney Spears had a meltdown, checked herself in and out of rehab a few times in one week and shaved her head. The media was all over it and I just wanna say to them "What? You've never de-railed your own train before?" Anna Nicole Smith died and folks are in court arguing over her remains and who the father of her little baby is. I think it's neither Howard or Larry and it's some janitor or Burger King employee. That's my predicition. Yeah that's mean, but look who fathered my children! So I can say it.

Ah yes...Sigh... De-railing your own train. I've done that before! And I was right around Britney's age too. I wasn't a mother tho. Motherhood saved me. Especially being a mother to my oldest son who was born at 27 weeks and has all the problems he has. But I can sympathize. I really can. People do this all the time. I think it's because you just want it all to go away. And "it" is different things to different people. It's like when a successful man who seems to have it all, great job, a beautiful wife and kids, a nice house in a good neighborhood, and he has an affair with some skank. Why on earth would anybody be that stupid, you ask? Because he secretly wanted all of it to go away! And quite often it does, and then there's remorse and the wish that you could get it all back again and you can't and it's sad that way. I think Britney did the same thing. Motherhood. Fame. A carreer. It's all a big burden and she wanted it gone. But I think in time, she'll get sober and realize that she really does want that stuff. I don't know. That's just my 2 cents!

Dirtbag Of The Month

Jeez! I forgot to post a Dirtbag Of The Month for February! I've got my work cut out for me because I need to come up with one for March sometime next week. Shouldn't be hard. There's plenty out there to choose from...

Here's an excerpt from a wire service that tells the beginning of the story: "BRADENTON, Fla. A jury in Florida has sentenced a man to 25 years in prison after his road rage scared another driver into a crash that killed a teenager."

Let's stop right there. You know why Road Rage happens? Because there are certain ASSHOLES out there that are such control freaks that they think that they can even control other drivers on the road! Dumbasses! It's like saying "You're gonna drive like I want you to drive!" How fucking stupid is that? But that is the basis for this whole problem. And yes, women can be road ragers too. But the Dirtbag Of The Month can only be a man, so let's continue with the story, shll we?

"The jury says that Bruce Payton was responsible for the crash that witnesses say happened after he chased and fired gunshots at a truck that cut him off on a highway in 2005. The truck ran through a red light and crashed into a vehicle carrying the teenager, whose brother, sister and a family friend were also hurt in the crash."

I used to live near Bradenton Florida and I know that Florida drivers are the CRAZIEST in the world. Driving in CHICAGO is far more pleasant than driving anywhere in Florida, and Chicago is the country's third largest city. So I have met folks like Bruce Payton before.

But here's his defense:

"Defense attorneys argued Payton brandished a cell phone, not a gun, as he chased the truck, and that he didn't know a crash had occurred. The weapon was never found."

Okayyyyyyyyy... I suppose that's possible, but I don't buy it and apparently the JURY DIDN'T EITHER! Even if this fucker didn't fire a gun (but umm, somebody did, and Bradenton is not South Central L.A.) he chased the car and an accident ensued. Somebody died. He thought that somebody wasn't driving the way he wanted to, he was gonna "show them", and now he's in prison.

And for that, Bruce Payton is My Dirtbag Of The Month!